THE ROAD TO EQUALITY

 

“ A women is a full circle, within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.” The same women is also an individual with her own set of beliefs, choices and passion. But the only choice that earns respect and appreciation from the society are also the choices that ensure she remains inferior because that is the only way that she can earn the validation from standards set by the patriarchal society. All the irrational beliefs that exist and the roots of patriarchal conviction run back in time past thousands of years and is truly disappointing that the bits of these roots still thrive between us and the present generation.  You ask me where? It’s probably in every little things- when a women is asked to marry at 25, when she is asked to not wear that dress, when she is told to not sit that way, when she is told not to speak back, when cooking and house chores are seen as what she is supposed to do whether she earns or not, when you are treated as someone to serve, look after, sacrifice and allow a man to dominate and decide your worth . Because the only way a home can be peaceful is at the cost of a women’s choice and freedom and every little things that goes unnoticed or is normalized. I never found a precise reason why Indian serials tend to show a women having Western fashion choices are shown to have uncompassionate, evil and vicious persnality whereas it’s always the women with traditional outfits with loving , caring and good hearted traits and are of course are also the good guys of the story. why someone is a perfect “bahu” because she decided to listen to her mother in law whether she is right or wrong and why wearing sarees can  be the only decent and respectable way of representing yourself as being married, and how slapping your wife is treated as any other normal thing a husband does and is allowed to do without being questioned. No wonder how gender inequality has found its way in our lifestyle, in our clothes and our entertainment medium.  And how do you expect a change when the shows that are watched everyday influence your thought process.

It’s a shame that every women you know and every women she knows has gone through some kind of abuse and we all naturally learn to shut up about it because people always somehow find a way to blame the victim. Why did she wear that dress? Why did she go to that party? Why isnt she married yet? Why did she drink? Why was she standing at that side of the bus?

It’s a shame that we have made the gender as an excuse for men to abuse us, to dominate and rule over us and even made way for horrible acts like domestic violence.

It’s a shame that all the movies we have watched while growing up has shown us that the only way a women can protect herself against abuse  is through another man fighting in a unrealistic way.

It's a shame that a women who tolerates violence and being cheated upon is glorified and appreciated but a women who walks away from a abusive marriage is called as someone as who breaks home.

It’s a shame that most women face judgement for having a career she likes, getting married at the age she feels comfortable, chooses her own partner because emotional and physical intimacy are considered a joke compared to  caste and wealth in the society.

It’s a shame that women who should be supporting another women to speak up are the ones who constantly tell them to adjust and encourage inferiority.

I stand on my right to be respected if I  choose to go to a party wearing a dress I want, having male friends, choosing  financial independence. Because the power of creating, nurturing and transforming comes from the person you are and not the clothes you wear. A women deserves to be more than someone’s daughter, wife or sister. She can choose to have her own identity and live her life the way she wants and meeting the patriarchal standards of society and living a life dictated by them at the cost of her own self is something we have to abolish at the earliest. Women  need to be seen and treated as strong. We have lived among great examples but with very low recognition of their  efforts -whether it was a housewife with  or  without a choice  or  someone running a business or someone who brought up her children on her own without a man in a family or someone who sells flowers under the scorching sun and comes back home to cook for her children and her good for nothing drunk husband. Whether it was back then when women fought for the right of education or whether it’s right now when we are  fighting for the right to abortion. We all represent something in common – solidarity, undying spirit and passion to claim what we rightfully deserve – freedom of choice, worth and self respect. And this long going fight can end with you. Because you can be the change. You can be the one who tells her that it is not her job to adjust and tolerate so that everyone else can be peaceful, you can be the one to say her that having kids, getting married and serving your husband is not the only way her life is complete but it’s a choice  and  respect her if she does not make that choice. You can be the part of the better world so that your daughter or yet another generation of women wouldn’t have to go through all the horrible things as millions of women in india already have.